If I were Meagan Good’s sister, 3 things I would tell her….

Seeing as though the video went viral last week of a lady asking Meagan to “cover up” during a forum where Meagan and her husband, Devon, were promoting their new book, I felt it was only right for me to blog about my thoughts. If you haven’t seen the video, google it and I’m sure it will pop up.

Meagan, I know lately you have gotten a plethora of good and bad feedback . Some comments were encouraging to you, and some were mean. Though I don’t agree with every aspect of what transpired during that forum, I want to tell you the truth in absolute love and with scripture as well. So this is for you , Meagan. If you were my sister, I would tell you these three things.

I would tell you as if I were your sister trying to get you in line before “mama came back home” and you were due for a spanking if you didn’t get it together quick. You will feel the intensity of what I’m communicating, but not because I look down on you at all. That intensity is rather the passion I have about the issues at hand, and I’m also hoping I can snatch other women out of the fire in the meantime while they are listening in on our conversation. Ok so here it goes.


 

 

1.You are absolutely beautiful!

 

I don’t think anyone that would meet you would be able to argue with that. But the truth of the matter is “…man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart”( 1 Samuel 16:7). Let me reiterate, man looks at the outward appearance. It may seem like that lady was “coming for you, when you didn’t send for her”, but the truth of the matter is the majority of people don’t know you and can only speak on what they see.

It will be very easy for you to continue to wear the type of clothes that I’ve seen you in on social media with the notion that “only God knows my heart”. The only problem is that you are exactly right. Only God knows your heart, but the rest of the world that is looking at your outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7) are clear on the fact that your dress code doesn’t always depict the God in you. You see, even though you’re merged into the secular world, you can’t impact them on levels that they feel your integrity is as compromised as theirs is. The ones who want to make excuses for their lifestyles will accept you, but the ones who come to the place of desiring real repentance will ultimately lose respect for you. Don’t be afraid to stand out. Light shines brighter in darkness.


 

 

2.Modesty is still amazing!

And I love how it’s addressed in 1 Peter 2. Let’s break it down via the scripture.

 

∇1 Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…..

 

Now that word adorn translates in the greek to “kosmeo” which translates to “put in proper order” and to “decorate”.

This means you can be beautiful AND be in order with your clothes. I know you want to be sexy for your husband and by all means PLEASE do, but tone that sexy all the way down for us. Now you don’t have to look like a granny. Please no. But when its all said and done we don’t want to see your boobies, super tight clothes, or any of that either. Simmer it alllll the way down.

  ∇1 Timothy 2:9  also says we are to dress “…with shamefacedness”….

 

Now before you blank me out this does not mean that we cannot not have any fashion sense. I like this part of the scripture because it puts modesty in super perspective. “Shamefacedness” translates to the word “aidos” in the Greek, which means awe or reverence towards God.

Wow! Now that’s deep. That means that what you wear needs to reflect your reverence to God. It’s a holy thing! Before you put on your clothes, ask yourself, are my clothes reverencing God? Would I want Jesus to see my cleavage? Would I want His head turning to get a second glance at my butt, hips, or thighs?

And yes you’re right. The scripture teaches that God cannot be tempted with evil. He actually made our butts, hips, and thighs and holds us responsible how we utilize them whether we utilize them to please our husbands, or we allow them to help send a bunch of men to hell who never took the time to get their sex lives under control. And remember, it’s ok to look good! But by all means, looking good doesn’t mean that you have to dress in a way that would be irreverent of God. Which means that “no sis, you can’t wear anything in the name of Jesus and it be acceptable”.

1 Peter 2 also says that we are to dress “……with sobriety”…..

This means women are to dress with a sound mind. It means you are held accountable to think about how what you are wearing might have effect on other people. It is not ok to just assume that as long as it looks good to you, and your circle that its ok, especially if you are someone that others look up to. God expects us to think about how our appearance represents Him.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who are more full of lust than a dog is full of fleas. They are going to lust after you whether you were nude or covered from head to toe and you can’t do anything to help those kind of people. God has to deliver them and they have to want to be delivered. However, you have to be respectful enough to honestly think soberly about your fashion decisions. You have to come to the place where you say to yourself, “hmmm…that dress was made to reveal my butt, those pants were made to expose my crotch, that shirt was made to show my cleavage, but that doesn’t revere God AT all.

When you think soberly about issues like that, then you’re able to say to yourself, “and you know what? my husband is not the only person that’s going to be looking at my butt, crotch, or breast if I wear this. And then as you are thinking soberly you remember that there is a line of clothes that are made to be revealing to your husband. ITS CALLED VICTORIA’S SECRET. You make a Godly lady’s decision to keep victoria secret in your bedroom and bring modesty to the public.

You have to stay sober minded concerning your clothes because people are looking up to you and watching you. Your life, your clothes, your reactions….they’re all a walking billboard for Christ. You must choose to represent Him well.


 

3.Be open to correction.

 

“……he that refuseth reproof erreth” Proverbs 10:17

Reproof is translated to “towkechah” in the Hebrew, which means correction, chastisement, rebuke. Be ok with correction. Embrace correction. The scripture states that we go astray (err) when we refuse correction.

I love you, and I’m telling you this only because I would want you to tell me the same thing. By all means, please tell me if you see me doing anything that doesn’t represent Christ. When that lady asked you to “cover up”, I know your husband was trying to defend you, and I get it. Because if someone was saying something that will hurt my feelings my husband will be ready to chop their heads off and serve them for dinner. I promise you, I get it. But this was different. Why? Because we have an obligation to uphold a standard if we profess to be Christians.

Even though I know it probably hurt, and maybe her delivery wasn’t as warm as you would have liked, honestly her statement is what I have been wanting for you for awhile. If we were in the same situation, my husband would have said, “thank you, we will take note of that and we repent for not making the best decisions regarding my wife’s attire. Please forgive us, but in the meantime I’m going to cover her as we make our adjustments.”

Alright, and that’s it. I pray you heard my heart. I’m not looking down on you, shaking my neck at you, or turning my nose up at you. I’m simply being that same sister to you that I would want you to be to me.

In His love,

 

Amanda Ferguson♥


 

 

Also,

Make sure to go to that purple box on the side of this blog and enter your email to subscribe. If you haven’t been getting the emails, be sure to check your spam box.

I have three books on amazon, and my bestselling book, FaceTime: Pursuing the Presence of Jesus is still selling like crazy. If you haven’t read that one, be sure to order it on amazon.

 

I love you all so much! ♥

5 Ways I KNEW My Husband Was The One For Me PT.2

amanda blog

(Another picture from my modeling shoot)

I know you are anxious to read the remainder of this post continued from part 1, but before you get started, scroll all the way to very bottom of this post (on the side), find the purple box that says “SUBSCRIBE” and enter your email address to officially subscribe to this blog. Soon, I will be sending out special newsletters and will be doing giveaways that will exclusively be for subscribers, so sign up….right now.

Ok lets go! So in the last blog I ended my points with the area of accountability.


 

3. He was accountable (continued): The concept sounds simple, but it is HUGE!

The one you are dating needs to get sniffed out by the proven Godly men in your life. They need to be able to get all in his business without him feeling defensive. They need to put their finger on the things that you often overlook.

◊Helping Tip: A man who rejects accountability while dating will reject it while married. Save yourself the headache of marrying a rebel!

There are also categories of accountability. 

Pay attention to his level of accountability in the following four areas:

  • Friendships
  • Employer
  • Family
  • Spiritual Authority 

 

How he treats accountability in these areas will tell you a lot about him. 

Basically who a man has in his life to encourage, challenge, and correct him will determine how he is able to process through the toughest times in his life. A man that is uncomfortable with being under authority is unfit to be in authority.


 

4.We were equally yoked.

Now most of us have heard the scripture of “be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers” (1 Cor. 6:14). Of course we know that if you’re saved you should marry someone that’s saved. But that scripture goes even deeper. Let’s explore the cultural significance of the scripture to shine light on it even more.

In biblical days, oxen would be yoked together, by twos. They would be coupled together in order to plow a field and pull a load…together. This meant that they needed to have the same stamina and endurance, so that the other ox would not be lagging behind…it meant that they could equally carry the weight in synchronization

oxen(picture of oxen yoked together)

Togetherness is essential. Can you imagine one ox trying to run in one direction while the other is trying to run in another direction while being yoked together? First of all, that would probably be painful! Secondly, they wouldn’t go anywhere! It’s important to be yoked together with someone who has the same vision.

What load will you two carry together for the kingdom of God? What will you accomplish together? What great exploits will you do together?

You should discover early on in the dating stage if you two are going in two totally different directions. This should be one of the main priorities of the dating stage because once you’re married, you’re officially yoked together. Equally yoked? Or unequally yoked? That would be the question.

While we were friends and also dating, we always talked about everything, I mean everything! We talked about our past, present, and future. There was nothing that we didn’t know about each other.

Helping Tip: Dating is for “data collection”. Don’t be so enamored by romance that you are completely oblivious to who that person is because you neglected collecting the data and facts concerning them.

When my husband and I were engaged, I remember watching Benny Hinn on Youtube talking about the price that his wife, Suzanne had to pay for the ministry. He began to say that men who have done great exploits had wives that were willing to go the whole way with them.

While watching that clip, I began to WEEP. Something in me became so tender for the thing that the Lord had called Jonathan to do in ministry. I’ve always known he would do amazing things for the kingdom of God.

As I went into prayer, I called out to God and said, “ Whatever price I have to pay in ministry, I’ll pay it WITH him”

All of the things that God was calling me to do fit directly into the things that God was calling Jonathan to do. We had likeness of vision.

Helping Tip: One common vision is a “keeper” in a marriage. Two visions= Di-vision. It doesn’t matter how in love you are, or how romantic the relationship is, if you do not share common vision you will inevitably be divided.


 

5.He exemplified character and integrity.

Throughout our 3 year friendship before we wed, I saw him in all types of circumstances. I’ve seen people lie on him, betray him, steal from him, etc but his character and integrity remained intact.

  • Character is a moral compass that acts to navigate you in the right direction when under pressure.
  • Integrity is having the courage to do the right thing even no one is looking. 

I’ve seen him hurt, angry, upset, and frustrated, but there were certain moral and ethical lines that he would never cross.

Want to be on the road to knowing if that man is capable for you or not? Ask yourself these questions about the one you are dating.

∇ Who is he when no one else is around?

∇ What would he DO if no one was looking?

∇ What are his morals?

∇ What are things that he would NEVER do?

∇ Whose voice speaks the loudest in his life?

∇ How transparent is he about his past?

∇ Who does he admire?

∇ What are his goals?

∇ What are his secrets?

∇ What are his dreams?

∇ What unfortunate situations of his past can he talk about without the pain resurfacing?

∇ How does he perform under pressure?

∇ How does he handle anger?

∇ How does he handle disappointment?

THESE ARE ONLY A FEW!

family on couch.jpg

Pictured left to right: Myself, Mya, My hubby, and Hannah♥

I pray that these 5 tips have been a blessing to you. Remember, this is not some special formula, but these were 5 ways that I knew that my husband was the one for me! Once again, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on this page for notifications of my next blog entry:)

Also, collectively my husband and I have 10 books total on amazon! Just type in either of our names on amazon’s search box, and our books will pop up! Buy one, two, or all:) 

Love you all!♥

5 Ways I KNEW My Husband Was The One For Me PT.1

PART 1:

IMG_6577

Picture from my modeling shoot

 

Did God tell you He was the one?

How did you KNOW he was the one?


Listen, sis, don’t be too deep as it relates to dating. I hear so many ladies saying “I’m just waiting on God to speak to me concerning this guy”……Hmmmmm let me make it plain: When you are hungry, do you consult God about whether to eat or not? Absolutely not. He made us with a “sensor” to let us know when we are hungry, and it’s time to eat.

God gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help lead us and guide us, yet He is not going to lead us in the particular areas that we ignore the wisdom that He has already given us. Ok, so the guy you are dating has no passion & faithfulness for God, no character, no accountability, etc…yet , you’re waiting on God to speak to you and say “yay or nay” concerning that guy…Umph.

Move on, sis. God has so much more in store for you.

I can’t say that I had this “Ah Ha” moment where God spoke to me that Jonathan was my husband. However I did pay attention to EVERYTHING and we mutually made the decision that we were the best fit for each other. Without a doubt, we can both say that we made the best decision! I couldn’t imagine being married to a more perfect man for me (not perfect, just perfect for me) And vice versa, I’m his perfect fit.

After salvation, who you will marry is the single most important decision that you will ever make in your life. CHOOSE WISELY.

This is not a special formula but these are 5 ways that I KNEW that my husband was the one for me. I will be giving you three of five ways in this blog, and the remainder in a second blog featuring part two of this subject:



1.He loved God in words and deeds.

When I met Jonathan, he was currently on a 40 day liquid fast…whew! That’s real dedication! Jonathan was and is a man after God’s own heart. Fasting and his prayer life was and is an intricate part of who he was. He didn’t just talk about God, he LIVED for God and still does to this day.

The first things that stood out to me about him is how his love for God superseded everything else in his life. He wasn’t ashamed to lift his hands in worship and bow his knees in prayer in outward adoration of the Father. He didn’t mind crying out to God…His heart was so tender towards the Father. I immediately noticed that he was a man who wholeheartedly was striving to live the life that was pleasing to God

◊Helping tip: A man who doesn’t want to break God’s heart, won’t want to break yours.

Throughout the course of our 3 year friendship, before we wed, his fasting, prayer, and devotional life was still consistent. He didn’t waiver in his pursuit of God. I knew that I could follow and submit to a man like that.


 

2. He only wanted me

This may sound like a no brainer, but it’s not. I see women settling all of the time for a guy who likes her, but doesn’t want ONLY HER. Honey, don’t settle for being the SIDE chick OR the MAIN one, be the ONLY one.

◊Helping tip: Don’t make someone a priority, when you’re only an option.

There was a season where we were considering dating that my husband was torn in between me and another young lady, and he told me. I cried, got upset, and then I realized my worth…So what did I do? I changed my number, deleted all text threads, pictures, and blocked him on social media. Why? Because I was serious about my heart AND about my worth.

◊Helping Tip: Just because a guy doesn’t see your worth does not diminish your value

He called me back and got that special message when your number is changed. I was THAT seriousMy heart was serious-My time was serious-My intent was serious.

AND I WASN’T DOING IT TO GET HIS ATTENTION OR GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM. He made his decision so I simply made mine.

◊Helping Tip: Never give a man an ultimatum. Simply decide what you will and will not allow.

We reconnected a few months later and this time he knew I was the one for him. No gimmicks, no games, no questioning. We dated for 2.5 months, engaged for 1.5 months, and then married! March 2016 will make 4 years of marriage! No one was pregnant, we were not in a rush…we just decided to cut all the games out. After all, we had spent almost three years already becoming the best of friends and getting to know each other.


 

3.He was accountable.

When we started dating, after telling his father, he told other proven Godly men in our lives that we were serious about getting married. He put himself in a position to be accountable to these men concerning his life and his intentions towards me.

◊Helping Tip: Men know men. Give the men in your life access to the one you are dating.

It’s easy for women to overlook certain things when you’re “in love” but don’t take this for granted.I know this is getting good, but I will stop here. I will elaborate more on this point of accountability and the remainder of the points on part 2 of this blog so stay tuned. . . . . . . .

birthday dinner

♥♥Us headed to my 30th birthday dinner last week!♥♥

For additional tips on relationships, recipes, fashion tips, and more, check out my devotional for single ladies at this link ! #conqueringthecrossroads 

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