Becoming a Gentle Mother: 3 Things I’ve Learned

Hey ladies!

I am proud to announce The God Given Husband Ebook is available for download NOW ! 🙂 Don’t forget you recieved an email note this week regarding a special contest. Can’t wait to hear and see how God spoke to you through this book. If you’re new to this blog, here is a special gift just for you.

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I love being a mother. It brings me so much joy!

I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered this thing called motherhood, but I love the journey of growth and progression that I’ve made as a mother of 3. My goal is to be a loving, gentle mother to our girls at all times.

Here are three things that I’ve learned to help me become a gentle mother:)


1. Be Happy

Honestly, there is nothing more inviting than being in a home with a happy woman. It’s like a little piece of heaven on earth! I’ve noticed how my husband and children are affected by my level of happiness. The home is filled with love, smiles, giggles, and even a safe place to make mistakes….such sweet serenity!

This doesn’t mean that every single moment will be sunny, but I’ve learned to take control of my happiness and especially my thoughts.

Thoughts create presence.

Don’t believe me? Ever walked into a room after an argument and immediately felt tension? The people may try to act like nothing is wrong , but you can FEEL the tension. You can cut the air with a knife because it’s so tense! The thoughts in your mind are producing the atmosphere around that you  desire.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, your mind is a womb. Only think what you want to produce!

So, Take control of your thoughts. If you’re having a tough day today read this out loud “ “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable….”( Phil 4:8)  I’ll think on THOSE things.


2. Build. Don’t Break.

“A wise woman builds her house, a foolish woman brings it down with her own hands.”

It is our responsibility as women to build our homes. It’s a huge honor to be a mother. It’s also a huge responsibility.

Build with Your Words

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26)

“You’re stupid”

“Shut up and get away from me”

“I’m sick of you”

If you’ve said things like this, then ask for forgiveness, and work on speaking words over your children that build them up.

I’ve learned that to be a gentle mother we don’t treat or talk to our children in a condescending matter. I want our children to know that I love them for them no matter how many spills they make, how much they mess up, or even when they have their toddler tantrums. No one, not even me or you reading this, wants to be “talked down to”. Remember that not only are they your children, but they are people too. Treat them as such.

Don’t Break Their Spirit

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” Col. 3:20

The word discouraged here means to have a “broken spirit”.

We have to be so, so careful not to break our children’s spirit. I’m constantly in prayer always asking the Lord to guide me, even when I have to discipline our children , so that I won’t break their spirits.


3. Be Kind to Yourself

I must admit, I can be extremely hard on myself as it relates to motherhood. There are times I feel like superwoman and times I feel like my “cape” has been burned and destroyed! I want to know if I’m doing enough, saying enough, being enough for our girls …but I have to remind myself, in our girls’ eyes “I’m already enough”.

They don’t care if I didn’t get 5 loads of laundry done in the day or if I finished my “to do” list. They still think the world of me. And your kids think the world of you, too. If you’re struggling to know this, may my words be an encouragement to you today.

Dear Lady, you’re already enough. 🙂

I read and meditate on scriptures often , and one of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 40:11 “He gently leads those that have young”.

I read this often as a quick reminder that the Lord is gently leading me while I’m gently leading our girls. I can imagine Him holding me by my hand and leading me, not pulling me or tugging at me, but gently guiding me along this journey of motherhood. He is there to wipe my tears, relieve my anxieties, and reassure me that everything will be okay. And things will be okay.

Through the tantrums, good days, bad days, sick days, and everything in between it will be okay. So please Dear Lady, while you’re reminding yourself to be kind to your kids, don’t forget to please be kind to YOU ,too.

 


 

After two years of writing, let The God Given Husband EBOOK  bless you, friends, and family. This book as Real Talk Kim states, “….will keep your from settling.” I look forward to hearing how this book has touched your life.

Love you So much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.


 

 

 

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5 Practical Ways to Prepare to be a Wife Pt. 1

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Remember this
, God will bless you to the level of your preparation.

Do you just want to be married? Or do you want to be a wife?

Wives are the keepers of their homes, the protector of their atmospheres, and the glue that holds the family together. Here are a few practical things to cultivate as you prepare to be a Godly wife.


1. Learn How to Cook

Ok, I know we’re in the age where dining out and getting take out is convenient, but let me tell you something ladies, a way to a man’s heart is still through his stomach.

A man loves a good home-cooked meal. Before, I was 22, I couldn’t boil water. Seriously, I didn’t know anything about the kitchen. I had no interest in cooking, but when I got saved at 22, something shifted in me.

I suddenly had the desire to improve myself as a lady in every aspect of my life. I asked my mom and other great cooks to show me a few meals. I also googled recipes and got a ton of ideas. Sometimes they were great, and sometimes they were terrible, but I kept improving!

By the time I got married 4 years later, I was a really good cook. My husband thinks I’m an amazing cook, and he is a very picky eater. If you’re not the best cook, it’s okay. Spend a little time each week working on a new dish. Once you’ve mastered that dish, move on to the next one. Before you know it, you’ll have a reservoir of good meals that you’ve mastered. Your future husband will thank you.


2. Clean it Up

If you’re at home right now, take a look around your house. Is it messy? Is it organized? Do you have clothes every year? Piles of dishes in the sink?

◊ Helping Note:  Dear sis, you can’t be deep in the spirit and dirty at home.  Clean it up.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Your home is your atmosphere. Keep it clean, keep it inviting, keep it organized. Men appreciate a clean house. Oh, and a clean bathroom.

That’s right, they don’t want to see your eyeshadow, lashes, brushes, and combs all over the bathroom counter. That may mean, you might have to leave home a little earlier to tidy up before you head out each day. Contrary to what you may think, the cleanliness that you develop NOW is how you will be as a wife. If cleaning hasn’t become a habit now, then you will struggle greatly when you get married.

So, I learned to try my best to put things back as soon as I use it. I’ve found that if I don’t, things will just start building up. Then when it was time to clean up everything, I’d get overwhelmed.

I remember once spending TWO HOURS cleaning out drawers just because I would throw my clothes in drawers and didn’t know where anything was….. TWO hours! From that point, I decided that I needed a change. I needed to be organized and stay organized so I wouldn’t have to constantly start from scratch.


Practical Habits to Enforce 

* When trying on clothes, if you don’t wear that outfit, don’t put it on the floor or bed, hang it back up

* When you take off your shoes, don’t just put them somewhere, put them in their place

* When you cook, fill the sink with dish water, so you can wash dishes as you go

* When you check the mail, immediately discard things you don’t need so that miscellaneous papers won’t crowd your home

* When you apply your makeup, place all makeup, tools, etc. back into there proper place.

Those are only a few tips. Remember, when you really value something, you MAINTAIN it.


3. Work on Your Appearance

While women are moved by their emotions, men are moved by what they see. They are visual beings.

This is why it’s important to look your best and “keep yourself up”. That doesn’t mean that you have to look like a model, but that means that everyday you should look your best.

It’s perfectly alright to spend extra time making sure that you look great from head to toe. This means you can NOT wear a bonnet, scarf, and pajamas to the store because you need to “run to the store really quickly.” I feel like I just stepped on a few toes just then. It’s okay to say ouch. Remember, house shoes are for the HOUSE.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, you can be holy and not look homely. 

I know you may be enjoying this, but I’m going to stop here for now. I’ll continue my teaching on appearance along with the other two tips in my next blog.

This year, Do Not settle.


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Love you so much,

Amanda Ferguson