5 Practical Ways to Prepare to be a Wife Pt. 1

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Remember this
, God will bless you to the level of your preparation.

Do you just want to be married? Or do you want to be a wife?

Wives are the keepers of their homes, the protector of their atmospheres, and the glue that holds the family together. Here are a few practical things to cultivate as you prepare to be a Godly wife.


1. Learn How to Cook

Ok, I know we’re in the age where dining out and getting take out is convenient, but let me tell you something ladies, a way to a man’s heart is still through his stomach.

A man loves a good home-cooked meal. Before, I was 22, I couldn’t boil water. Seriously, I didn’t know anything about the kitchen. I had no interest in cooking, but when I got saved at 22, something shifted in me.

I suddenly had the desire to improve myself as a lady in every aspect of my life. I asked my mom and other great cooks to show me a few meals. I also googled recipes and got a ton of ideas. Sometimes they were great, and sometimes they were terrible, but I kept improving!

By the time I got married 4 years later, I was a really good cook. My husband thinks I’m an amazing cook, and he is a very picky eater. If you’re not the best cook, it’s okay. Spend a little time each week working on a new dish. Once you’ve mastered that dish, move on to the next one. Before you know it, you’ll have a reservoir of good meals that you’ve mastered. Your future husband will thank you.


2. Clean it Up

If you’re at home right now, take a look around your house. Is it messy? Is it organized? Do you have clothes every year? Piles of dishes in the sink?

◊ Helping Note:  Dear sis, you can’t be deep in the spirit and dirty at home.  Clean it up.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Your home is your atmosphere. Keep it clean, keep it inviting, keep it organized. Men appreciate a clean house. Oh, and a clean bathroom.

That’s right, they don’t want to see your eyeshadow, lashes, brushes, and combs all over the bathroom counter. That may mean, you might have to leave home a little earlier to tidy up before you head out each day. Contrary to what you may think, the cleanliness that you develop NOW is how you will be as a wife. If cleaning hasn’t become a habit now, then you will struggle greatly when you get married.

So, I learned to try my best to put things back as soon as I use it. I’ve found that if I don’t, things will just start building up. Then when it was time to clean up everything, I’d get overwhelmed.

I remember once spending TWO HOURS cleaning out drawers just because I would throw my clothes in drawers and didn’t know where anything was….. TWO hours! From that point, I decided that I needed a change. I needed to be organized and stay organized so I wouldn’t have to constantly start from scratch.


Practical Habits to Enforce 

* When trying on clothes, if you don’t wear that outfit, don’t put it on the floor or bed, hang it back up

* When you take off your shoes, don’t just put them somewhere, put them in their place

* When you cook, fill the sink with dish water, so you can wash dishes as you go

* When you check the mail, immediately discard things you don’t need so that miscellaneous papers won’t crowd your home

* When you apply your makeup, place all makeup, tools, etc. back into there proper place.

Those are only a few tips. Remember, when you really value something, you MAINTAIN it.


3. Work on Your Appearance

While women are moved by their emotions, men are moved by what they see. They are visual beings.

This is why it’s important to look your best and “keep yourself up”. That doesn’t mean that you have to look like a model, but that means that everyday you should look your best.

It’s perfectly alright to spend extra time making sure that you look great from head to toe. This means you can NOT wear a bonnet, scarf, and pajamas to the store because you need to “run to the store really quickly.” I feel like I just stepped on a few toes just then. It’s okay to say ouch. Remember, house shoes are for the HOUSE.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, you can be holy and not look homely. 

I know you may be enjoying this, but I’m going to stop here for now. I’ll continue my teaching on appearance along with the other two tips in my next blog.

This year, Do Not settle.


Be sure to subscribe to my blog. You don’t want to miss the special gift I will be releasing soon.

Love you so much,

Amanda Ferguson

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5 Ways I KNEW My Husband Was The One For Me PT.2

amanda blog

(Another picture from my modeling shoot)

I know you are anxious to read the remainder of this post continued from part 1, but before you get started, scroll all the way to very bottom of this post (on the side), find the purple box that says “SUBSCRIBE” and enter your email address to officially subscribe to this blog. Soon, I will be sending out special newsletters and will be doing giveaways that will exclusively be for subscribers, so sign up….right now.

Ok lets go! So in the last blog I ended my points with the area of accountability.


 

3. He was accountable (continued): The concept sounds simple, but it is HUGE!

The one you are dating needs to get sniffed out by the proven Godly men in your life. They need to be able to get all in his business without him feeling defensive. They need to put their finger on the things that you often overlook.

◊Helping Tip: A man who rejects accountability while dating will reject it while married. Save yourself the headache of marrying a rebel!

There are also categories of accountability. 

Pay attention to his level of accountability in the following four areas:

  • Friendships
  • Employer
  • Family
  • Spiritual Authority 

 

How he treats accountability in these areas will tell you a lot about him. 

Basically who a man has in his life to encourage, challenge, and correct him will determine how he is able to process through the toughest times in his life. A man that is uncomfortable with being under authority is unfit to be in authority.


 

4.We were equally yoked.

Now most of us have heard the scripture of “be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers” (1 Cor. 6:14). Of course we know that if you’re saved you should marry someone that’s saved. But that scripture goes even deeper. Let’s explore the cultural significance of the scripture to shine light on it even more.

In biblical days, oxen would be yoked together, by twos. They would be coupled together in order to plow a field and pull a load…together. This meant that they needed to have the same stamina and endurance, so that the other ox would not be lagging behind…it meant that they could equally carry the weight in synchronization

oxen(picture of oxen yoked together)

Togetherness is essential. Can you imagine one ox trying to run in one direction while the other is trying to run in another direction while being yoked together? First of all, that would probably be painful! Secondly, they wouldn’t go anywhere! It’s important to be yoked together with someone who has the same vision.

What load will you two carry together for the kingdom of God? What will you accomplish together? What great exploits will you do together?

You should discover early on in the dating stage if you two are going in two totally different directions. This should be one of the main priorities of the dating stage because once you’re married, you’re officially yoked together. Equally yoked? Or unequally yoked? That would be the question.

While we were friends and also dating, we always talked about everything, I mean everything! We talked about our past, present, and future. There was nothing that we didn’t know about each other.

Helping Tip: Dating is for “data collection”. Don’t be so enamored by romance that you are completely oblivious to who that person is because you neglected collecting the data and facts concerning them.

When my husband and I were engaged, I remember watching Benny Hinn on Youtube talking about the price that his wife, Suzanne had to pay for the ministry. He began to say that men who have done great exploits had wives that were willing to go the whole way with them.

While watching that clip, I began to WEEP. Something in me became so tender for the thing that the Lord had called Jonathan to do in ministry. I’ve always known he would do amazing things for the kingdom of God.

As I went into prayer, I called out to God and said, “ Whatever price I have to pay in ministry, I’ll pay it WITH him”

All of the things that God was calling me to do fit directly into the things that God was calling Jonathan to do. We had likeness of vision.

Helping Tip: One common vision is a “keeper” in a marriage. Two visions= Di-vision. It doesn’t matter how in love you are, or how romantic the relationship is, if you do not share common vision you will inevitably be divided.


 

5.He exemplified character and integrity.

Throughout our 3 year friendship before we wed, I saw him in all types of circumstances. I’ve seen people lie on him, betray him, steal from him, etc but his character and integrity remained intact.

  • Character is a moral compass that acts to navigate you in the right direction when under pressure.
  • Integrity is having the courage to do the right thing even no one is looking. 

I’ve seen him hurt, angry, upset, and frustrated, but there were certain moral and ethical lines that he would never cross.

Want to be on the road to knowing if that man is capable for you or not? Ask yourself these questions about the one you are dating.

∇ Who is he when no one else is around?

∇ What would he DO if no one was looking?

∇ What are his morals?

∇ What are things that he would NEVER do?

∇ Whose voice speaks the loudest in his life?

∇ How transparent is he about his past?

∇ Who does he admire?

∇ What are his goals?

∇ What are his secrets?

∇ What are his dreams?

∇ What unfortunate situations of his past can he talk about without the pain resurfacing?

∇ How does he perform under pressure?

∇ How does he handle anger?

∇ How does he handle disappointment?

THESE ARE ONLY A FEW!

family on couch.jpg

Pictured left to right: Myself, Mya, My hubby, and Hannah♥

I pray that these 5 tips have been a blessing to you. Remember, this is not some special formula, but these were 5 ways that I knew that my husband was the one for me! Once again, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on this page for notifications of my next blog entry:)

Also, collectively my husband and I have 10 books total on amazon! Just type in either of our names on amazon’s search box, and our books will pop up! Buy one, two, or all:) 

Love you all!♥

5 Ways I KNEW My Husband Was The One For Me PT.1

PART 1:

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Picture from my modeling shoot

 

Did God tell you He was the one?

How did you KNOW he was the one?


Listen, sis, don’t be too deep as it relates to dating. I hear so many ladies saying “I’m just waiting on God to speak to me concerning this guy”……Hmmmmm let me make it plain: When you are hungry, do you consult God about whether to eat or not? Absolutely not. He made us with a “sensor” to let us know when we are hungry, and it’s time to eat.

God gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help lead us and guide us, yet He is not going to lead us in the particular areas that we ignore the wisdom that He has already given us. Ok, so the guy you are dating has no passion & faithfulness for God, no character, no accountability, etc…yet , you’re waiting on God to speak to you and say “yay or nay” concerning that guy…Umph.

Move on, sis. God has so much more in store for you.

I can’t say that I had this “Ah Ha” moment where God spoke to me that Jonathan was my husband. However I did pay attention to EVERYTHING and we mutually made the decision that we were the best fit for each other. Without a doubt, we can both say that we made the best decision! I couldn’t imagine being married to a more perfect man for me (not perfect, just perfect for me) And vice versa, I’m his perfect fit.

After salvation, who you will marry is the single most important decision that you will ever make in your life. CHOOSE WISELY.

This is not a special formula but these are 5 ways that I KNEW that my husband was the one for me. I will be giving you three of five ways in this blog, and the remainder in a second blog featuring part two of this subject:



1.He loved God in words and deeds.

When I met Jonathan, he was currently on a 40 day liquid fast…whew! That’s real dedication! Jonathan was and is a man after God’s own heart. Fasting and his prayer life was and is an intricate part of who he was. He didn’t just talk about God, he LIVED for God and still does to this day.

The first things that stood out to me about him is how his love for God superseded everything else in his life. He wasn’t ashamed to lift his hands in worship and bow his knees in prayer in outward adoration of the Father. He didn’t mind crying out to God…His heart was so tender towards the Father. I immediately noticed that he was a man who wholeheartedly was striving to live the life that was pleasing to God

◊Helping tip: A man who doesn’t want to break God’s heart, won’t want to break yours.

Throughout the course of our 3 year friendship, before we wed, his fasting, prayer, and devotional life was still consistent. He didn’t waiver in his pursuit of God. I knew that I could follow and submit to a man like that.


 

2. He only wanted me

This may sound like a no brainer, but it’s not. I see women settling all of the time for a guy who likes her, but doesn’t want ONLY HER. Honey, don’t settle for being the SIDE chick OR the MAIN one, be the ONLY one.

◊Helping tip: Don’t make someone a priority, when you’re only an option.

There was a season where we were considering dating that my husband was torn in between me and another young lady, and he told me. I cried, got upset, and then I realized my worth…So what did I do? I changed my number, deleted all text threads, pictures, and blocked him on social media. Why? Because I was serious about my heart AND about my worth.

◊Helping Tip: Just because a guy doesn’t see your worth does not diminish your value

He called me back and got that special message when your number is changed. I was THAT seriousMy heart was serious-My time was serious-My intent was serious.

AND I WASN’T DOING IT TO GET HIS ATTENTION OR GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM. He made his decision so I simply made mine.

◊Helping Tip: Never give a man an ultimatum. Simply decide what you will and will not allow.

We reconnected a few months later and this time he knew I was the one for him. No gimmicks, no games, no questioning. We dated for 2.5 months, engaged for 1.5 months, and then married! March 2016 will make 4 years of marriage! No one was pregnant, we were not in a rush…we just decided to cut all the games out. After all, we had spent almost three years already becoming the best of friends and getting to know each other.


 

3.He was accountable.

When we started dating, after telling his father, he told other proven Godly men in our lives that we were serious about getting married. He put himself in a position to be accountable to these men concerning his life and his intentions towards me.

◊Helping Tip: Men know men. Give the men in your life access to the one you are dating.

It’s easy for women to overlook certain things when you’re “in love” but don’t take this for granted.I know this is getting good, but I will stop here. I will elaborate more on this point of accountability and the remainder of the points on part 2 of this blog so stay tuned. . . . . . . .

birthday dinner

♥♥Us headed to my 30th birthday dinner last week!♥♥

For additional tips on relationships, recipes, fashion tips, and more, check out my devotional for single ladies at this link ! #conqueringthecrossroads 

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