Becoming a Gentle Mother: 3 Things I’ve Learned

Hey ladies!

I am proud to announce The God Given Husband Ebook is available for download NOW ! 🙂 Don’t forget you recieved an email note this week regarding a special contest. Can’t wait to hear and see how God spoke to you through this book. If you’re new to this blog, here is a special gift just for you.

Now on to the blog…


I love being a mother. It brings me so much joy!

I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered this thing called motherhood, but I love the journey of growth and progression that I’ve made as a mother of 3. My goal is to be a loving, gentle mother to our girls at all times.

Here are three things that I’ve learned to help me become a gentle mother:)


1. Be Happy

Honestly, there is nothing more inviting than being in a home with a happy woman. It’s like a little piece of heaven on earth! I’ve noticed how my husband and children are affected by my level of happiness. The home is filled with love, smiles, giggles, and even a safe place to make mistakes….such sweet serenity!

This doesn’t mean that every single moment will be sunny, but I’ve learned to take control of my happiness and especially my thoughts.

Thoughts create presence.

Don’t believe me? Ever walked into a room after an argument and immediately felt tension? The people may try to act like nothing is wrong , but you can FEEL the tension. You can cut the air with a knife because it’s so tense! The thoughts in your mind are producing the atmosphere around that you  desire.

Helping Note:  Dear Sis, your mind is a womb. Only think what you want to produce!

So, Take control of your thoughts. If you’re having a tough day today read this out loud “ “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable….”( Phil 4:8)  I’ll think on THOSE things.


2. Build. Don’t Break.

“A wise woman builds her house, a foolish woman brings it down with her own hands.”

It is our responsibility as women to build our homes. It’s a huge honor to be a mother. It’s also a huge responsibility.

Build with Your Words

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26)

“You’re stupid”

“Shut up and get away from me”

“I’m sick of you”

If you’ve said things like this, then ask for forgiveness, and work on speaking words over your children that build them up.

I’ve learned that to be a gentle mother we don’t treat or talk to our children in a condescending matter. I want our children to know that I love them for them no matter how many spills they make, how much they mess up, or even when they have their toddler tantrums. No one, not even me or you reading this, wants to be “talked down to”. Remember that not only are they your children, but they are people too. Treat them as such.

Don’t Break Their Spirit

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” Col. 3:20

The word discouraged here means to have a “broken spirit”.

We have to be so, so careful not to break our children’s spirit. I’m constantly in prayer always asking the Lord to guide me, even when I have to discipline our children , so that I won’t break their spirits.


3. Be Kind to Yourself

I must admit, I can be extremely hard on myself as it relates to motherhood. There are times I feel like superwoman and times I feel like my “cape” has been burned and destroyed! I want to know if I’m doing enough, saying enough, being enough for our girls …but I have to remind myself, in our girls’ eyes “I’m already enough”.

They don’t care if I didn’t get 5 loads of laundry done in the day or if I finished my “to do” list. They still think the world of me. And your kids think the world of you, too. If you’re struggling to know this, may my words be an encouragement to you today.

Dear Lady, you’re already enough. 🙂

I read and meditate on scriptures often , and one of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 40:11 “He gently leads those that have young”.

I read this often as a quick reminder that the Lord is gently leading me while I’m gently leading our girls. I can imagine Him holding me by my hand and leading me, not pulling me or tugging at me, but gently guiding me along this journey of motherhood. He is there to wipe my tears, relieve my anxieties, and reassure me that everything will be okay. And things will be okay.

Through the tantrums, good days, bad days, sick days, and everything in between it will be okay. So please Dear Lady, while you’re reminding yourself to be kind to your kids, don’t forget to please be kind to YOU ,too.

 


 

After two years of writing, let The God Given Husband EBOOK  bless you, friends, and family. This book as Real Talk Kim states, “….will keep your from settling.” I look forward to hearing how this book has touched your life.

Love you So much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.


 

 

 

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I Didn’t Marry My Dream Husband

Hey ladies!

Thank you all so much for the love and feedback.  If you’re not subscribed to this blog yet, do so NOW. I have another free gift that I will be sending this week to all subscribers. You won’t want to miss it 🙂

Now on to the blog…


This may take you as a surprise, but I absolutely did NOT marry my dream husband.

Like most singles, I had my “list” of what my dream husband HAD to contain. After the prerequisite of loving and serving Jesus of course and some of the other generic things that most women want, these three attributes were on my top MUST have list in a dream husband:

-Must be an accountant 

-Must look like Denzel Washington 

-Must know how to barbeque

You may look at that list and laugh, but they meant everything to me! I refused to marry someone who did not possess those attributes! Well, that is until Jonathan Ferguson came along.


Jonathan and I were introduced to each other through my godmother. I looked up a picture of him before we met and immediately said, “nope! He’s not the one. He looks nothing like Denzel.” Contrary to what I thought, he WOULD be the one I would marry, but he still wouldn’t be the man of my dreams.

And why is that?

Simply put, I didn’t marry my dream husband because, obviously to God, my dreams weren’t big enough. My husband is more amazing that ANY dream husband I could have ever fathomed in my mind.

And boy oh boy did God exceed my expectations!

No, he doesn’t look like Denzel Washington, but he doesn’t have to. Because he is FIIIINNNE. And all mine!

He also isn’t an accountant, but he is an excellent, excellent steward of the finances. I have never had to worry about a bill, and I haven’t clocked into a job in over 4 years.

He also doesn’t know how to barbeque, but he’s taken me to some of the finest restaurants.

He didn’t match most of the things on my “dream husband list” but, you see, I forgot to put a few things on my list.


I forgot to put on my list how weak of a stomach that I have, and having 3 pregnancies, that I would need a husband who would lovingly clean up the “aftermath” of my morning sickness. Every. Single. Time. Without EVER complaining and without me ever having to ask him to do that. And then, to look at me afterwards and tell me that he loves me and that I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.

♥ That’s who God gave me.

I forgot to put on my list that I would need a strong man that could handle the burden of my grief and be gentle enough to wipe my tears as I sat through my mother’s funeral.

♥ That’s who God gave me.

I forgot to put on my list that I would want a husband who made sure that I never have to pump gas in my vehicle. Seriously, in 3 weeks we make 5 years of marriage, and I never have had to pump my own gas. Well maybe like 3 times tops and only because he was out of town and we both forgot.

♥ God gave me a man who loves me…and gosh does he love me. I never knew a love so beautiful!

When I feel like I mess up and feel subpar, he encourages me and tells me I’m amazing.

When I need an extra push, he is there being my biggest supporter.

When I’m a little “over the top” he is there to simmer me on down and land me back to reality.


There are times that I’ve gone to sleep sad and awakened feeling like a million bucks . I would tell him that I felt better the next morning and his sweet reply would be music to my ears, “I stayed up and prayed for you all night.”

He loves me past my imperfections and “blah” moments. He loves all of me. He loves the depth of me. He loves me without restraints. He loves me flaws and all.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, to one special man even your flaws will be beautiful. Wait for THAT one.

You see, my dreams were way too small.

My husband is my exceeding, abundantly blessing. With him, I’ve experienced things I never would have thought to experience. He has upgraded me in every area of my life.

My husband is not what I wanted, he is MORE than what I wanted and so for that reason I’m so glad that I didn’t marry the man of my dreams.

So single lady, keep your list if you must, but if God has anything to do with it you can expect a complete upgrade.

In the end, my hope and prayer for you is that you don’t marry your dream husband, but that just like me, you marry BETTER.

Do. Not. Settle


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Love you so much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.