Becoming a Gentle Mother: 3 Things I’ve Learned

Hey ladies!

I am proud to announce The God Given Husband Ebook is available for download NOW ! 🙂 Don’t forget you recieved an email note this week regarding a special contest. Can’t wait to hear and see how God spoke to you through this book. If you’re new to this blog, here is a special gift just for you.

Now on to the blog…

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I love being a mother. It brings me so much joy!

I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered this thing called motherhood, but I love the journey of growth and progression that I’ve made as a mother of 3. My goal is to be a loving, gentle mother to our girls at all times.

Here are three things that I’ve learned to help me become a gentle mother:)

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1. Be Happy

Honestly, there is nothing more inviting than being in a home with a happy woman. It’s like a little piece of heaven on earth! I’ve noticed how my husband and children are affected by my level of happiness. The home is filled with love, smiles, giggles, and even a safe place to make mistakes….such sweet serenity!

This doesn’t mean that every single moment will be sunny, but I’ve learned to take control of my happiness and especially my thoughts.

Thoughts create presence.

Don’t believe me? Ever walked into a room after an argument and immediately felt tension? The people may try to act like nothing is wrong , but you can FEEL the tension. You can cut the air with a knife because it’s so tense! The thoughts in your mind are producing the atmosphere around that you  desire.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, your mind is a womb. Only think what you want to produce!

So, Take control of your thoughts. If you’re having a tough day today read this out loud “ “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable….”( Phil 4:8)  I’ll think on THOSE things.

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2. Build. Don’t Break.

“A wise woman builds her house, a foolish woman brings it down with her own hands.”

It is our responsibility as women to build our homes. It’s a huge honor to be a mother. It’s also a huge responsibility.

–Build with Your Words

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26)

“You’re stupid”

“Shut up and get away from me”

“I’m sick of you”

If you’ve said things like this, then ask for forgiveness, and work on speaking words over your children that build them up.

I’ve learned that to be a gentle mother we don’t treat or talk to our children in a condescending matter. I want our children to know that I love them for them no matter how many spills they make, how much they mess up, or even when they have their toddler tantrums. No one, not even me or you reading this, wants to be “talked down to”. Remember that not only are they your children, but they are people too. Treat them as such.

–Don’t Break Their Spirit

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” Col. 3:20

The word discouraged here means to have a “broken spirit”.

We have to be so, so careful not to break our children’s spirit. I’m constantly in prayer always asking the Lord to guide me, even when I have to discipline our children , so that I won’t break their spirits.

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3. Be Kind to Yourself

I must admit, I can be extremely hard on myself as it relates to motherhood. There are times I feel like superwoman and times I feel like my “cape” has been burned and destroyed! I want to know if I’m doing enough, saying enough, being enough for our girls …but I have to remind myself, in our girls’ eyes “I’m already enough”.

They don’t care if I didn’t get 5 loads of laundry done in the day or if I finished my “to do” list. They still think the world of me. And your kids think the world of you, too. If you’re struggling to know this, may my words be an encouragement to you today.

Dear Lady, you’re already enough. 🙂

I read and meditate on scriptures often , and one of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 40:11 “He gently leads those that have young”.

I read this often as a quick reminder that the Lord is gently leading me while I’m gently leading our girls. I can imagine Him holding me by my hand and leading me, not pulling me or tugging at me, but gently guiding me along this journey of motherhood. He is there to wipe my tears, relieve my anxieties, and reassure me that everything will be okay. And things will be okay.

Through the tantrums, good days, bad days, sick days, and everything in between it will be okay. So please Dear Lady, while you’re reminding yourself to be kind to your kids, don’t forget to please be kind to YOU ,too.

 

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After two years of writing, let The God Given Husband EBOOK  bless you, friends, and family. This book as Real Talk Kim states, “….will keep your from settling.” I look forward to hearing how this book has touched your life.

Love you So much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.

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Did God Tell You That He Was The One?

Hey ladies!

Thank you all so much for the love and feedback.  I am proud to announce The God Given Husband Ebook is live NOW 🙂I am very pleased to share with you what God has imparted to me on your behalf. Can’t wait to hear how God spoke to you.

Now on to the blog…

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I get this question SO much.

Ladies constantly ask me did God tell me and Jonathan individually that we were the one for each other. I honestly can’t say that God definitively told us that we were the one for each other, but he did give us the power of choice, and we can both say hands down we made the absolute best choice in choosing each other.

I can’t tell you that God won’t tell you who your mate is, but I will tell you that he doesn’t HAVE to.

The key to avoiding distractions in relationships is not becoming so enamored by superficial things that you overlook the things that matter the most.

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Just think, milk is still beautifully white whether it’s spoiled or not. At first glance it may not look spoiled, but you take one whiff of spoiled milk and you wouldn’t dare want to drink it.

Some of you have sniffed out ungodly characteristics in your prospective mate.

You’ve noticed things like his lack of character, his lack of pursuit, irresponsibility, despondency to the things of God, etc just to name a few.

Do. Not. Overlook those things. God is giving you a small peak into your future.

With that in mind, you don’t have to ask the Lord a question about a prospective mate that he has already clearly shown you by his fruit disqualifications. I’m reminded of the saying in Matthew 7:16 “You will recognize them by their fruit.” 

And why again would you ask God if that man is the one for you, while the fruit on his tree is clearly rotten? It doesn’t matter what he’s saying, you need to check that fruit. Always remember, things don’t go wrong, they start wrong.

If you’re feeling restless, confused, or pressured to make a decision, then step back a bit.

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Let me give you a few scenarios where you may need to just….chill.

If you find yourself thinking or saying to yourself the following, I strongly advise you step back:

“God told me, but he hasn’t told him yet” 

Sis, save yourself heartache and tears . I’ve seen women distraught as they believed that God told them that they would marry a certain man, only for that man to not know anything about them or even be mildly interested.

Remember this, God is not “a God of confusion” (1 Cor. 14:33)

◊Helping Note:  Dear Sis, if God can speak to you about him, then God can speak to him about you. Chill.

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“I saw my husband in a dream” 

Hmmm, have you ever had a crazy dream before? All dreams are not prophetic.

I repeat, just because you dreamed it doesn’t mean that you dreamed God’s will for you. You may have to chalk it up to a meal you ate before you went to sleep, but don’t wake up and start planning your wedding with this guy just because of a dream.

♥ Relax.

♥ Enjoy life.

♥ Stop stressing.

♥ Stop worrying.

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Here are a few things that you can do to ensure that you are staying sober in choosing a mate.

Stay in God’s presence!

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, the more you run towards God, the more the imposters will run away from you.

Some men can generally be weeded out just by your pursuit of God. A counterfeit will get tired of pretending to love God. He will get tired of you raving.

Rest!

Speak this over yourself: I will be and I will have everything that God has purposed for my life according to Jeremiah 29:11.

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Now seriously, rest.

Rest in knowing that if God wants you to be married, then trust that you will be. Stop wondering what’s taking so long and stop worrying if you have missed God.

Rest in the assurance that you are right in the place that God wants you to be. Your steps are ordered. God’s got you! KNOW that.

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Stay Accountable 

This is important so you won’t have a side, secret relationship that nobody knows about but you two! You need proven, Godly people in your life that can say, “Yes, he’s on the right track or Girl, no! What are you thinking? He does what? He says what? And be sure that those you are accountable to are emotionally healthy. You don’t want someone spewing bad advice to you.

These are just a few! For all of you ladies reading this, I pray that God absolutely blows your mind this week! Thank you all so much for your continued support of the blog! I appreciate all of the shares on social media and comments on the blog. Bonus: I’ve included a bonus chapter in the book since it was a few days late, I hope you enjoy!

Remember, the subject of the blog is changing for the next upcoming blogs, and I can’t wait to share with you what God has placed on my heart.

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Do. Not. Settle

Love you so much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.

Just In Case!

Hi Everyone!

Over the last few weeks, hearing from you has been such an encouragement. Very grateful you are on this journey to become empowered and deeper in your walk with Christ.

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Just a few reminders :

1. If you haven’t recieved No More Games, the first chapter of my upcoming book The God Given Husband, please use this link. No More Games will be available to you in an instant download. In case you miss the download, check your inboxm, including your promotions and spam folder as well. I would LOVE to hear how the the first chapter has blessed you.
2. I’m also currently in the process of planning a giveway. This giveaway is very personal and I think you’ll love it. Many of you are following me on social media already, so be sure to check for an announcement of the giveway soon. For those who would like to communicate with me through social media, here’s how: on Twitter @Ferguson_Mrs and Instagram @MrsAmandaFerguson. I love to hear from you.♥
3. Stay tuned for another blog post coming soon. The next one, if God says the same, will be focused on relationships. My heart has shifted to another area for the blogs to follow. I’m praying it will touch your heart just as mine.
4. Also, I would absolutely love to meet you in Atlanta this April for BootCamp Atlanta ! If you missed BootCamp Memphis, definitely don’t miss this one! We had over 800 people in attendance from literally everywhere. Click the link to learn more about it, and remember , the registration is free !  Looking forward to seeing you from April 21-23, 2017. The presence of the Lord awaits you.
   

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Do. Not. Settle

Love you so much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.

 

When the Preacher Wants Your Panties

Hey ladies!

Thank you all so much for the love and feedback.  If you’re not subscribed to this blog yet, do so NOW. I have another free gift that I will be sending soon to all subscribers. You won’t want to miss it 🙂

Now on to the blog…

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Up until 7 pm last night, I had no idea that I would be writing this post. Then like a ton of bricks, God deposited this title into me, and the content began to flow.

I don’t know who all needs to read this blog, but I felt God’s heart and I believe that MANY need this.

This blog is for the woman that only wanted to be PRAYED for, yet got PREYED on by a preacher.

This one will be raw, real, and uncut.

Let’s go.

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“I’m still the man of God”

That’s what he says to you after you all’s sexual frenzies in attempt to make you not “call him out“ on his sin.

He has no conviction and no desire to change so he wants to convince you never to cross him or try to expose him. He will tell you scriptures about how David committed sin, but was still a man after God’s own heart.

This is a manipulative tactic to cause you to avoid the seduction of what’s taking place between the two of you. As long as you see it as innocent you will be blindsided to the patterns that play out every single time you are chosen out of his group of women to be his mistress for the night.

That reminds me of my oldest girls, Hannah and Mya. When they are arguing and fussing the other one always tells me what the other one did wrong to try to take the blame away.

My question as I look to them individually is “But what did YOU do wrong”.

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A man who won’t take responsibility for his actions is a man who still wants to hide in the dark. He is enjoying his lifestyle of sin. You aren’t responsible for his actions, but you are responsible for yours. 

Be delivered from the voices that taunt you saying “Well if God uses him so powerfully, his passion must not be wrong”. Honey, God also used a donkey in the Bible, remember? God can use whatever and whomever he uses but that doesn’t mean that YOU have to subject yourself to living a life beneath what God wants for you.

It’s not okay. It’s never been okay and will never be okay. He is quite comfortable in his lifestyle of sin.

Are you?

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“I’m a man…I make mistakes too”

That’s what he says to you when he can’t manipulate you with his charisma or God given gift.

The only problem with this is that these sexual encounters you’re having with him are nowhere near mistakes. Neither are the ones he’s having with all the other women in other cities while you’re at home still believing that he will soon acknowledge that you’re his God sent wife.

It’s one thing to be a man that makes mistakes, but it’s a completely different thing for his mistakes to be a lifestyle.

Remember this, Mistakes are not premeditated and neither are they pre-planned.

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Be Free 

Be honest with yourself when you know something doesn’t feel right.

You know when you’re being violated.

From him you may experience feelings of being seduced, being manipulated, or just being downright uncomfortable.

NONE of those are attributes of the Holy Spirit. 

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And then…some of you are okay.

You’re okay with being the side piece. You’re okay with flying into a city where he is, getting to wear your best “First Lady” attire at church, and sitting on the front row.

You feel special because his “crew” knows all about you. They also know what’s going down after the church service…and you do too.

Until you have read this post you have been okay with that. Although he has treated you like a KFC meal only wanting your breasts, legs, and thighs.

You. Have. Settled. For. That.

Because deep down you either only want the sex too, or you believe that he has intentions on marrying so you’re just waiting around to see what will happen.

You sit in his church services and look around to see if any other woman is looking at him with “those eyes”…you notice a few, but you shake it off because you know that you’re the one he wants to be with…or at least you’re the one who will be in his hotel room that night.

In your mind, if you can’t have all of him, at least you will have part of him.

But as I’m writing this, the Holy Spirit has arrested you because God loves you so much.

I’m writing this to you because I love you so much and I’m tired of seeing you hurt and confused.

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Be delivered from the delusion that’s driving your decisions.

You don’t have to make any announcements, ultimatums, or threats… just decide that you won’t partake in this anymore.

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You are worth so much more. 

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, know your worth. You are the apple of the Father’s eye. 

♥ You deserve a man who will not only be faithful to you, but will be faithful to God.

♥ You deserve a man who will wed you.

♥ You deserve a man who will be do things the right way.

♥ You deserve the absolute best.

Remember this, things don’t go wrong, they start wrong.

Change your number, block him on social media, and, if need be, don’t go to his church services. There are lots of other churches and services where you can be spiritually fed.

Guard your heart, honey. In order to be free, you have to want to be free and take the ACTIONS to be free.

So , I’m praying hard for you.

Do. Not. Settle

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Also, part 2 of this is coming soon as well as a free gift to subscribers.

Love you so much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.

I Didn’t Marry My Dream Husband

Hey ladies!

Thank you all so much for the love and feedback.  If you’re not subscribed to this blog yet, do so NOW. I have another free gift that I will be sending this week to all subscribers. You won’t want to miss it 🙂

Now on to the blog…

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This may take you as a surprise, but I absolutely did NOT marry my dream husband.

Like most singles, I had my “list” of what my dream husband HAD to contain. After the prerequisite of loving and serving Jesus of course and some of the other generic things that most women want, these three attributes were on my top MUST have list in a dream husband:

-Must be an accountant 

-Must look like Denzel Washington 

-Must know how to barbeque

You may look at that list and laugh, but they meant everything to me! I refused to marry someone who did not possess those attributes! Well, that is until Jonathan Ferguson came along.

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Jonathan and I were introduced to each other through my godmother. I looked up a picture of him before we met and immediately said, “nope! He’s not the one. He looks nothing like Denzel.” Contrary to what I thought, he WOULD be the one I would marry, but he still wouldn’t be the man of my dreams.

And why is that?

Simply put, I didn’t marry my dream husband because, obviously to God, my dreams weren’t big enough. My husband is more amazing that ANY dream husband I could have ever fathomed in my mind.

And boy oh boy did God exceed my expectations!

No, he doesn’t look like Denzel Washington, but he doesn’t have to. Because he is FIIIINNNE. And all mine!

He also isn’t an accountant, but he is an excellent, excellent steward of the finances. I have never had to worry about a bill, and I haven’t clocked into a job in over 4 years.

He also doesn’t know how to barbeque, but he’s taken me to some of the finest restaurants.

He didn’t match most of the things on my “dream husband list” but, you see, I forgot to put a few things on my list.

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I forgot to put on my list how weak of a stomach that I have, and having 3 pregnancies, that I would need a husband who would lovingly clean up the “aftermath” of my morning sickness. Every. Single. Time. Without EVER complaining and without me ever having to ask him to do that. And then, to look at me afterwards and tell me that he loves me and that I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.

♥ That’s who God gave me.

I forgot to put on my list that I would need a strong man that could handle the burden of my grief and be gentle enough to wipe my tears as I sat through my mother’s funeral.

♥ That’s who God gave me.

I forgot to put on my list that I would want a husband who made sure that I never have to pump gas in my vehicle. Seriously, in 3 weeks we make 5 years of marriage, and I never have had to pump my own gas. Well maybe like 3 times tops and only because he was out of town and we both forgot.

♥ God gave me a man who loves me…and gosh does he love me. I never knew a love so beautiful!

When I feel like I mess up and feel subpar, he encourages me and tells me I’m amazing.

When I need an extra push, he is there being my biggest supporter.

When I’m a little “over the top” he is there to simmer me on down and land me back to reality.

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There are times that I’ve gone to sleep sad and awakened feeling like a million bucks . I would tell him that I felt better the next morning and his sweet reply would be music to my ears, “I stayed up and prayed for you all night.”

He loves me past my imperfections and “blah” moments. He loves all of me. He loves the depth of me. He loves me without restraints. He loves me flaws and all.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, to one special man even your flaws will be beautiful. Wait for THAT one.

You see, my dreams were way too small.

My husband is my exceeding, abundantly blessing. With him, I’ve experienced things I never would have thought to experience. He has upgraded me in every area of my life.

My husband is not what I wanted, he is MORE than what I wanted and so for that reason I’m so glad that I didn’t marry the man of my dreams.

So single lady, keep your list if you must, but if God has anything to do with it you can expect a complete upgrade.

In the end, my hope and prayer for you is that you don’t marry your dream husband, but that just like me, you marry BETTER.

Do. Not. Settle

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Be sure to subscribe to my blog.  You don’t want to miss the special gift I will be releasing soon.

Love you so much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author.