I Didn’t Marry My Dream Husband

Hey ladies!

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Now on to the blog…

This may take you as a surprise, but I absolutely did NOT marry my dream husband.

Like most singles, I had my “list” of what my dream husband HAD to contain. After the prerequisite of loving and serving Jesus of course and some of the other generic things that most women want, these three attributes were on my top MUST have list in a dream husband:

-Must be an accountant 

-Must look like Denzel Washington 

-Must know how to barbeque

You may look at that list and laugh, but they meant everything to me! I refused to marry someone who did not possess those attributes! Well, that is until Jonathan Ferguson came along.

Jonathan and I were introduced to each other through my godmother. I looked up a picture of him before we met and immediately said, “nope! He’s not the one. He looks nothing like Denzel.” Contrary to what I thought, he WOULD be the one I would marry, but he still wouldn’t be the man of my dreams.

And why is that?

Simply put, I didn’t marry my dream husband because, obviously to God, my dreams weren’t big enough. My husband is more amazing that ANY dream husband I could have ever fathomed in my mind.

And boy oh boy did God exceed my expectations!

No, he doesn’t look like Denzel Washington, but he doesn’t have to. Because he is FIIIINNNE. And all mine!

He also isn’t an accountant, but he is an excellent, excellent steward of the finances. I have never had to worry about a bill, and I haven’t clocked into a job in over 4 years.

He also doesn’t know how to barbeque, but he’s taken me to some of the finest restaurants.

He didn’t match most of the things on my “dream husband list” but, you see, I forgot to put a few things on my list.

I forgot to put on my list how weak of a stomach that I have, and having 3 pregnancies, that I would need a husband who would lovingly clean up the “aftermath” of my morning sickness. Every. Single. Time. Without EVER complaining and without me ever having to ask him to do that. And then, to look at me afterwards and tell me that he loves me and that I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.

♥ That’s who God gave me.

I forgot to put on my list that I would need a strong man that could handle the burden of my grief and be gentle enough to wipe my tears as I sat through my mother’s funeral.

♥ That’s who God gave me.

I forgot to put on my list that I would want a husband who made sure that I never have to pump gas in my vehicle. Seriously, in 3 weeks we make 5 years of marriage, and I never have had to pump my own gas. Well maybe like 3 times tops and only because he was out of town and we both forgot.

♥ God gave me a man who loves me…and gosh does he love me. I never knew a love so beautiful!

When I feel like I mess up and feel subpar, he encourages me and tells me I’m amazing.

When I need an extra push, he is there being my biggest supporter.

When I’m a little “over the top” he is there to simmer me on down and land me back to reality.

There are times that I’ve gone to sleep sad and awakened feeling like a million bucks . I would tell him that I felt better the next morning and his sweet reply would be music to my ears, “I stayed up and prayed for you all night.”

He loves me past my imperfections and “blah” moments. He loves all of me. He loves the depth of me. He loves me without restraints. He loves me flaws and all.

◊ Helping Note:  Dear Sis, to one special man even your flaws will be beautiful. Wait for THAT one.

You see, my dreams were way too small.

My husband is my exceeding, abundantly blessing. With him, I’ve experienced things I never would have thought to experience. He has upgraded me in every area of my life.

My husband is not what I wanted, he is MORE than what I wanted and so for that reason I’m so glad that I didn’t marry the man of my dreams.

So single lady, keep your list if you must, but if God has anything to do with it you can expect a complete upgrade.

In the end, my hope and prayer for you is that you don’t marry your dream husband, but that just like me, you marry BETTER.

Do. Not. Settle

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Love you so much,

♥Amanda Ferguson♥
Wife. Mother. Author. 

61 thoughts on “I Didn’t Marry My Dream Husband

      1. Wow that was so amazing! Thank you Amanda for sharing & inspiring someone like me. I often wondered is there such a man that would love all of me. But your words of encouragement gives me hope. Thanks so much! God bless you!!!💕

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow, tears were forming in my eyes, I will wait! Bless You for sharing & giving g me hope!

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome!!!!! I enjoy your blogs Amanda 😍… I’m not single, I’m married for 3 yrs & your posts encourage me to look forward to fulfilling ministry as a wife. Thank u Amanda!! God bless you abundantly.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amanda this is so beautiful! Fairytales don’t come true.. but this love story was hand written in heaven! So thankful for your husband and yours ministry. Y’all touch my heart in a way that makes me desire the heart of the father more! Love y’all!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow that was beautiful, thanks for that you’re opening me up so much to things i haven’t thought of . I hope that God sends me a husband like that one day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you so much for this post! There truly are no words I can say for what I have been reading from you in the past few days. Thank you Amanda.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. TOTAL SWOON!!! And THIS is why you and Prophet are my heroes!! (I’m literally listening to him preach while I read your blog, lol. But seriously, while I (strongly!) dislike waiting, I am also strongly convinced that what God has for me is beyond whatever I’d tried to secure for myself. Clearly my high standards were not high enough. And then, of course, there’s God’s timing which is SO much better than our own. So I’m not ever jealous of what (or who) someone else has. And in the meantime, I’m busy establishing and preparing myself. It’s entirely in God’s hands….which is the best place for it to be. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  7. This was Awesome Amanda!!!! I’m going through a divorce and God has been showing me glimpses of my new husband! The total opposite of what I went through. I’m grateful for relationships like this because it gives hope to the hopeless!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lady Amanda! Thank you so much for this post. I have been married for 13 years and we are a blended family. I had a list as well😂. Your post reminded me again of how God knows exactly what we need and will bless us more than what we ask for. Thanks for the tips. #7 my favorite 🙌🏽

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Awww, brother Jonathan, Congrats yall!!!tear,tear,tear….I am not much of a “how too girl” but I love a good testimonial any day….and that was a Great God sized story!!!!!! That inspired me!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Awwwwwww!!! My heart smiled whilr reading this for so many reasons! I am not much of a “how to reader”, but I love testimonials!!! This one was my favorite also!!!! Heart felt and well received!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Man Oh Man!! This by far one of the best articles I’ve read, absolutely loved it and I will definitely share this on Facebook!!! Thanks for all the tips and being so open! My sisters will love this! Thanks again!!


  12. I am always so inspired whenever I read your blogs. Thank you so much Mrs. Ferguson for answering the call of God upon your life! I am young college student who is striving to know more of God each and everyday when I read your blog today something in me stirred to wait on God and not get anxious in all things! Thank you so much for being real and keeping it real!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I love this. Your blogs are so inspiring. I’m 22 and my husband is 24. We will be celebrating our one year anniversary March 30th. I didn’t marry the man of my dreams either but He is everything that I need and God always exceeds our expectations. I pray that as the years continue that our marriage will grow to be as strong as you all’s if not stronger. I admire you woman of God 😍😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wow Sis. Amanda ,
    That was beautiful. Your words honored your husband and God. God loved you so and brought you something you needed . I’m going thru other things but this was a reminder to trust God always and He wants us to have the best. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Wooow!!! Lady Amanda…every word of that blog was straight from your heart, honey. It was more like reading a poem than a blog. What a beautiful relationship you have with the Father. And, how generous was he to bless you with such a husband. God bless you, Sis!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. “Happy Anniversary Mr.&Mrs.Ferguson”🎉🎈🎂🙌🏽🎉 Beautiful I love hearing your testimony it truly just uplifts me and encourages me as a single young woman of god! I know someday God is going to knock my socks of with an amazing man of God. Patience is the key!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽 Love y’all!❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This blog today has taught me so much. You have let me know that sometimes in life we can “aim” to low. God wants to give me a man that would supercede my expectations. This blog literally bought tears to not only my eyes but also in the inside of me. This was such an encouragement for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Beautiful! I feel the same way Amanda, God gives us more than we thought we wanted and just what we need. My husband doesn’t let me pump gas either
    🙂 .. I thought that was so weird at first but now I’m spoiled. God bless you guys.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. It’s so difficult to believe that there is a man made specifically for me, that will love me for me, unconditionally. Especially after experiencing dealings with some bad ones. But God, this gives me so much hope!!! It’s so beautiful, thank you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Amanda thank you so much for sharing your stories and for being transparent . I’m so much older than you but yet God has given you wisdom and insight to share with women of all ages. This is a time where I can say ” age ain’t nothing but a number ” . You are so right!. I’ve made a long list too of what and whom I wanted my husband to be. You’ve shared some key factors that we need to consider and that’s the characteristics and character of a Godly husband. I’m going through a period now where I’m waiting for Mr Compatible. I’m in my late 40s and has never been married. I’ve made some of the mistakes you’ve pointed out in previous stories and I’m still learning how to trust God and how to wait . Oh I hated the word wait. Now that I’m older I’m learning and trusting God to give me not only my heart’s desire but His desire for me. As much as I would love to be married, I realize that marriage may not be for me at this time and I have to accept it. I’m at the place now where I’ve resolved that if I have to be single for the rest of my life I will be well because God is in control .
    I’m learning from you and I pray that God will bless and preserve your marriage for as long as you both shall live. May your marriage get better and sweeter as the years go by. Be Blessed my sister.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This is beautiful Amanda and very inspiring!!! I use to have my list too lol. Not anymore, though I am going to read this to a girlfriend to encourage her in the wait and not to settle. I know women who have settled and they are stressed and miserable all because they just want to be married. I will not settle I will allow God to bless my socks off!! I am worth it!!

    Liked by 1 person

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