No Condoms For Your Soul

condoms pic.jpg

Condoms may help prevent getting an STD. They may even prevent unplanned pregnancies. But there is absolutely no condom for the soul, and that’s what’s not talked about much. Allow me to explain.

I was raised in church my whole life. I came from a very strong background and foundation, and I knew that having premarital sex was a sin.

“(Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body) ” NLT 1 Cor. 6:18

Then matriculating through school, we were informed of all types of STDs with knowledge and pictures that scared the mess out of me!… But not enough to not want me to have sex…after all, the guys that I messed with could never have any of those types of diseases. Right? And it’s true, no they didn’t, and of course I stayed on birth control while I wasn’t saved to ensure I wouldn’t get pregnant, because I KNEW I didn’t want any babies out of wedlock. And I didn’t have any.

BUT none of these “preventions” kept me away from the sting of having a soul tie. In fact, my soul-tie with boyfriends in college were the driving force to my suicidal thoughts. Suicide? Yes. Before I came back to Christ in 2008, I was contemplating suicide everyday towards the end of 2007.  You can read more about my road to overcoming from my book on Amazon, “Amanda’s Story: Overcoming Molestation & Depression” .

So back to this story. I didn’t know why I felt so crazy everyday! I had been drilled about not having sex to avoid sinning, pregnancies, and STDs, but you mean NOBODY told me what premarital sex could do to the condition of my soul?

Omg I felt bamboozled! And that’s why I’m writing this. Because there is some lady that’s reading this that hasn’t been able process why you feel the way you feel about this guy. Someone is reading this and you KNOW that relationship that you are in is ungodly, no matter how bad you try to justify it.

You know that if you’re having sex before marriage, if you died right now you would be going to hell. But still, it’s not clicking to you WHY you just can’t let go.

Let me help you as I talk about the consequences of ungodly soul ties


So what is this soul tie thing I’m writing about?

Well in a nut shell, a soul tie is literally the “tying” of two souls together. In fact, that’s why sex is ordained within the confines of marriage. It FUSES two people together. That’s a good soul tie.

An ungodly soul tie is a fusing together of two souls in an ungodly, unhealthy way through the act of sex.

That’s why it’s quite possible to be married to Ricky, but still be longing for jimmy and jonny from past relationships. It’s because your soul is still KNIT with those other two!

Since this blog is written for women, let me be real with you. Men are NOT affected by sex like we are. For men, sex is more physical than emotional. But for women sex is more emotional than it is physical.

Think of the person that was hardest for you to let go? Was it the man that you slept with or the man that you did not? Hmmmm most women would answer that it was harder to let go of the man that she slept with.


So now let me give you some consequences of these ungodly soul ties as quickly as possible.

◊Ungodly soul ties Distract:

Ever felt like you can’t get him out of your mind? And trust me honey, getting a new boyfriend won’t solve that problem. That will just add on a new set of problems.

The reality is that sex has so tied you to that man’s soul that although he has moved on, your mind is still there with him. It literally robs you of your focus and often causes you to begin to ignore your true priorities and responsibilities, which leads to a series of other downward spiraling events as follows:


◊Ungodly soul ties distort your rational.

◊Ungodly soul ties cause you to retreat and want to be alone. 

◊Ungodly soul ties make you view yourself in a way less that the way God views you.

How do you view you? 

Once you become tied to a man in an ungodly way you become more prone to living for “that guy” than living for God. You end up taking on a man’s idea of you instead of God’s idea of you. That man becomes your idol because you will do ANYTHING to please him and not God. Sounds like someone’s in love right?

The only problem is he has become your world but you have not become his. He has not given you priority, he has not given you commitment, and quite frankly he will most likely not give you a future.

Being tied to a man in an ungodly way often carries the illusion of being in love, but In actuality it’s more like being in an emotionally confused state. Especially for the lady that doesn’t get the privilege of having the man she slept with actually stick around.

Once the man is done with his sexual adventure, the woman is left broken. Ultimately this is what the soul tie leads too. Let’s look at the typical progression again.

The distractions lead to irrational decisions. Eventually he leaves. 

As you begin to retreat and be alone you start feeling like maybe the man you slept with doesn’t think you’re good enough, pretty enough, or whatever “enough”. After all, if you were enough he would have stayed right?


The truth is you are all that and a bag of chips. You’re special to God and you have a lot to offer to someone who is going to be more committed to you than to what you have to offer. These are just a few to get you thinking!


So you’re like, ok, Amanda, but how do I become FREE from these soul ties? Glad you asked.

  • 1. Write down the name of every man (his first and last name)  that you have had sex with and begin to ask the Lord to destroy the soul tie that is between you two.. You have to confess your sins. 


∇ Helping note: You can’t change anything that you’re unwilling to confront.


  1. Repent. That doesn’t mean to just ask for forgiveness.  That means to CHANGE your ways. You. Must. Stop. Having. Sex. With. Jimmy.
  2. Pray pray pray. 
  3. Admit your struggle to God. Just because you repent and stop having sex before marriage does not mean you will no longer struggle with the desire to do so. 
  4. Be accountable to someone during your process of recovery 



Some of you are crying as you read this post. I know because I began to weep as I wrote it. The Lord showed me a generation of women who have been scattered away from Him due to experiences of being undermined and mishandled, but He is reawakening in you a new desire for Him.

You’re feeling what you’re feeling as you read because freedom has come to your life. God is doing a new thing in your life and you’re not going to need to retreat to any relationship of your past in order to find satisfaction in your future.

Don’t read this blog and ignore His beckoning. He loves you sooooo much. And as he begins to show you more and more how valuable you are to Him you will never again settle for counterfeit lover, or one night stand.

Know This: THIS IS NOT HOW YOUR STORY ENDS!!! God is getting you ready for your next chapter. If God could save me and deliver me from ungodly soul ties, he can do the same for you! If you have genuinely done these steps, this is the dawning of a new day for you. I’m so excited about your future.


Love you so much!♥


Amanda Ferguson




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I go more in depth on the subject of soul ties in my book called “Amanda’s Story: Overcoming Molestation & Depression” so be sure to order it today on amazon.




53 thoughts on “No Condoms For Your Soul

  1. This is absolutely on time. I felt that if I have sex with him, he likes me. Which was far from the truth. Which is why I took a vow of celibacy. This year marks 6 years of me being celibate. I did have a child out of wedlock and became a single parent of 1. I REFUSE to have another child out of wedlock. In 2010, is when I gave my life to Christ and repent of my sins. I will wait on my Boaz and till marriage. I am worth the wait and I thank God for giving me beauty for ashes.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for being the Light in the World in such a dark place! Like you said in your post I wish somebody would’ve told me about soul ties versus trying to scare me about Going to hell, babies and STDs! Thank you for allowing God to use you and God Bless You WOG!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It truly was a Blessing to have God step in an give you the wisdom to begin the healing process and Succeed. Again, for someone like myself without a Godly upbringing; the necessity of “training up a child the Way the should Go is highlighted by your testimony. Jesus always has our best interest in mind by His standards at any age. Thanks again for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thank you so much for this! Its everything that I wanted to say, but could never put it into words.. Question? You said write a list of the ones what if you can’t remember name or you didn’t know their names. It sounds and is shameful,but I’m ready for this shame to be lifted up off of me. I’ve slept with many not for the reasons to have a relationship. Some was to see if I could have them like others had me and I became bitter, numb, and hard towards boys/men. I started acting like a man (I’m not gay) I just started to study the way boys/men did me and others and I started mimicking them as I called it flipping the game. It became a game of playing with boys/men emotions and mind (which I later found out was witchcraft) so yeah, if I don’t know their names or can’t remember will it effect the prayer… maybe this help others I don’t know!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hello lady Amanda. You are awesome and this is an awesome blog. You’re speaking on things I wish I had known since my childhood and early teenage years. In this blog, you asked, “Think of the person that it was hardest for you to let go? Was it the man that you slept with or the man that you did not?” As I think if that question, my reply is as follows: I have had 3 major soul ties with 3 men that I could not let go of for YEARS! Even if we don’t talk the way we used to or not at all. 1 that I had sex with and 2 others that I did not have sex with. Honestly, the 2 I didn’t have sex with, were the 2 that were hardest to let go of. I could not understand that thing, and now starting to get more understanding of it after I cried out to God and told Him that I hate feeling this way for men that are not my husband and only my brothers in Christ. I’m not sure if you need any background information but is there any advice that you could give based on what I have said so far?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. This blog was nothing short of ordained by God. As I read this, I stand in awe at the way you articuliated and broke this down to where even a child could understand. So often, we don’t explain to women about the affects of soul ties and they never understand why that can’t be totally free. Good job, Amanada. I’m so proud.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Awsome. I am married. I some times i have thoughts of other men that i was with in pass before marriage, especially after my husband and i argue. Sometimes i would send my ex a hello email or out of no where he would e-mail me saying hello how are you and your parents. Its nothing more then that. Its wrong in Gods eye’s. Those steps that you mentioned i need to write those names down. Those people maybe holding me back and i didnt realiaze it until now after reading your story. I dont want nothing or no one holding me back from receiving what God has for me or getting into heaven. As a married person i can follow thise steps as well?

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thanks so much for sharing. I never knew anything about soul ties until a coworker printed me out some things on it. I never thought about revealing the names as I pray to god but just prayed about it. I will definitely follow the steps you’ve giving.. Thanks again for sharing. Well needed.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. My Lord, I saw everything that I have been through and God has striped me of through repentance, prayer, a deeper connection to him and through the covering of his blood. I agree we have not been taught in depth about sex and results of it outside of marriage. We have been taught the warring, but not really about Soul Ties. I really appreciate your honesty and your love for God’s People. I pray God capitulate his ministry through your life to places beyond your imagination.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. This blessed me so much! I thank God for you. Your testimony sounds so much like what I’ve been through. I was molested at nine. And even raped a few months ago. But I thank God that I can’t be bitter. Cause God even wants to save the rapist. Its a hard pill to swallow but true. I thank God that he’s brought you so far. Because it excites me about where he will take me! This truly blessed me. I was hoping to see you in Jackson, MS this past weekend 😢.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Great informative read. This generation of young women, teens, young adults, and children merely experimenting out of curiosity or because of what is seen on television; theyve been so far removido from God and I just believe that the clarion call has gone forth once again for women of faith and holiness to teach these girls. It is so vital. We are living in a society now where their minds are filled and clouded with everything but God! He is the GPS for our life. Be blessed sis!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Amanda this is a very awesome Blog and you have helped/saved a lot of young women with this. Keep doing what you’re doing and continue to be Blessed while you’re doing it! I pray the strength of God back into you as you release these Blogs to allow you to give more. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I enjoyed this read. I have been mentoring young ladies and young men about abstinence because of the natural things you mention in this blog, knowing in the back of my mind about the soul ties. You have brought to light a very powerful statement that will be included in my conversation from now on! It’s time to help our young people renew their minds in Christ!!!
    God Bless You

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Great blog. I don’t think most people realize the true ramifications of a soul tie and how it can affect your future. Thank you for your transparency.


  15. This has really Blessed my Soul.. I’m so thankful to God for Deliverance (Soul Ties). We need more WOG like you that’s not afraid of talking about there pass and how God Delivered them,but the most important Holiness! I’m so Thankful for this Blog an I’ll most definitely be purchasing this book. Thank You

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Hi Amanda,
    In this season, I am surrounded by women who think, I am odd, can’t get or keep a man. This blog has given me revaluation. That I am on the path of righteousness and seeking God consistently. Regardless of what people say or think of me. I made wrong choices concerning men. I had a child out of wedlock. I was broken. So I truly thank God for you and your vision for us women.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Awesome article Lady Amanda I can relate may God continually bless you for sharing your heart to the world.
    May you go places in his kingdom as you continue to minister life to Gods people.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Thank you Amanda, I was in a similar situation by having these soul ties. There was one gentleman that I just couldn’t get enough of or let him loose.. It’s been 4 to 4 in a half years that I’ve learned to have morals and to wait on the Lord! A friend of mine sent me this website and I’m glad she did! Thank you for helping us ladies and May God continue to Bless you and your love life. Love Judith

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Thanks so much for sharing woman of God. I’m so happy that you kept it real and shed light on this subject so many ” Church People” don’t wanna talk about it and it is so necessary. I bless God for you and i recently purchased your book I’m very excited to read it and continue to receive healing and deliverance in this area of Soul Ties.


  20. Thank you so much for sharing this. My Pastor has preached on this and taught me that, putting a stop to fornicating, asking God for forgiveness and strengthening my self with the word of God will make me clean. And i can testify that i am made whole and also agree with your solution. I am glad that you went ahead and talk further by throwing more light on the soul-tying issue and made me really understand this. God Bless you and his grace generously abound in your life in Jesus Name Amen.

    Liked by 1 person

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