(Another picture from my modeling shoot)
I know you are anxious to read the remainder of this post continued from part 1, but before you get started, scroll all the way to very bottom of this post (on the side), find the purple box that says “SUBSCRIBE” and enter your email address to officially subscribe to this blog. Soon, I will be sending out special newsletters and will be doing giveaways that will exclusively be for subscribers, so sign up….right now.
Ok lets go! So in the last blog I ended my points with the area of accountability.
3. He was accountable (continued): The concept sounds simple, but it is HUGE!
The one you are dating needs to get sniffed out by the proven Godly men in your life. They need to be able to get all in his business without him feeling defensive. They need to put their finger on the things that you often overlook.
◊Helping Tip: A man who rejects accountability while dating will reject it while married. Save yourself the headache of marrying a rebel!
There are also categories of accountability.
Pay attention to his level of accountability in the following four areas:
- Spiritual Authority
How he treats accountability in these areas will tell you a lot about him.
Basically who a man has in his life to encourage, challenge, and correct him will determine how he is able to process through the toughest times in his life. A man that is uncomfortable with being under authority is unfit to be in authority.
4.We were equally yoked.
Now most of us have heard the scripture of “be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers” (1 Cor. 6:14). Of course we know that if you’re saved you should marry someone that’s saved. But that scripture goes even deeper. Let’s explore the cultural significance of the scripture to shine light on it even more.
In biblical days, oxen would be yoked together, by twos. They would be coupled together in order to plow a field and pull a load…together. This meant that they needed to have the same stamina and endurance, so that the other ox would not be lagging behind…it meant that they could equally carry the weight in synchronization.
(picture of oxen yoked together)
Togetherness is essential. Can you imagine one ox trying to run in one direction while the other is trying to run in another direction while being yoked together? First of all, that would probably be painful! Secondly, they wouldn’t go anywhere! It’s important to be yoked together with someone who has the same vision.
What load will you two carry together for the kingdom of God? What will you accomplish together? What great exploits will you do together?
You should discover early on in the dating stage if you two are going in two totally different directions. This should be one of the main priorities of the dating stage because once you’re married, you’re officially yoked together. Equally yoked? Or unequally yoked? That would be the question.
While we were friends and also dating, we always talked about everything, I mean everything! We talked about our past, present, and future. There was nothing that we didn’t know about each other.
◊Helping Tip: Dating is for “data collection”. Don’t be so enamored by romance that you are completely oblivious to who that person is because you neglected collecting the data and facts concerning them.
When my husband and I were engaged, I remember watching Benny Hinn on Youtube talking about the price that his wife, Suzanne had to pay for the ministry. He began to say that men who have done great exploits had wives that were willing to go the whole way with them.
While watching that clip, I began to WEEP. Something in me became so tender for the thing that the Lord had called Jonathan to do in ministry. I’ve always known he would do amazing things for the kingdom of God.
As I went into prayer, I called out to God and said, “ Whatever price I have to pay in ministry, I’ll pay it WITH him”
All of the things that God was calling me to do fit directly into the things that God was calling Jonathan to do. We had likeness of vision.
◊Helping Tip: One common vision is a “keeper” in a marriage. Two visions= Di-vision. It doesn’t matter how in love you are, or how romantic the relationship is, if you do not share common vision you will inevitably be divided.
5.He exemplified character and integrity.
Throughout our 3 year friendship before we wed, I saw him in all types of circumstances. I’ve seen people lie on him, betray him, steal from him, etc but his character and integrity remained intact.
- Character is a moral compass that acts to navigate you in the right direction when under pressure.
- Integrity is having the courage to do the right thing even no one is looking.
I’ve seen him hurt, angry, upset, and frustrated, but there were certain moral and ethical lines that he would never cross.
Want to be on the road to knowing if that man is capable for you or not? Ask yourself these questions about the one you are dating.
∇ Who is he when no one else is around?
∇ What would he DO if no one was looking?
∇ What are his morals?
∇ What are things that he would NEVER do?
∇ Whose voice speaks the loudest in his life?
∇ How transparent is he about his past?
∇ Who does he admire?
∇ What are his goals?
∇ What are his secrets?
∇ What are his dreams?
∇ What unfortunate situations of his past can he talk about without the pain resurfacing?
∇ How does he perform under pressure?
∇ How does he handle anger?
∇ How does he handle disappointment?
THESE ARE ONLY A FEW!
Pictured left to right: Myself, Mya, My hubby, and Hannah♥
I pray that these 5 tips have been a blessing to you. Remember, this is not some special formula, but these were 5 ways that I knew that my husband was the one for me! Once again, be sure to subscribe to this blog in the box on this page for notifications of my next blog entry:)