Picture from my modeling shoot
“Did God tell you He was the one?“
“How did you KNOW he was the one?“
Listen, sis, don’t be too deep as it relates to dating. I hear so many ladies saying “I’m just waiting on God to speak to me concerning this guy”……Hmmmmm let me make it plain: When you are hungry, do you consult God about whether to eat or not? Absolutely not. He made us with a “sensor” to let us know when we are hungry, and it’s time to eat.
God gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help lead us and guide us, yet He is not going to lead us in the particular areas that we ignore the wisdom that He has already given us. Ok, so the guy you are dating has no passion & faithfulness for God, no character, no accountability, etc…yet , you’re waiting on God to speak to you and say “yay or nay” concerning that guy…Umph.
Move on, sis. God has so much more in store for you.
I can’t say that I had this “Ah Ha” moment where God spoke to me that Jonathan was my husband. However I did pay attention to EVERYTHING and we mutually made the decision that we were the best fit for each other. Without a doubt, we can both say that we made the best decision! I couldn’t imagine being married to a more perfect man for me (not perfect, just perfect for me) And vice versa, I’m his perfect fit.
After salvation, who you will marry is the single most important decision that you will ever make in your life. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is not a special formula but these are 5 ways that I KNEW that my husband was the one for me. I will be giving you three of five ways in this blog, and the remainder in a second blog featuring part two of this subject:
1.He loved God in words and deeds.
When I met Jonathan, he was currently on a 40 day liquid fast…whew! That’s real dedication! Jonathan was and is a man after God’s own heart. Fasting and his prayer life was and is an intricate part of who he was. He didn’t just talk about God, he LIVED for God and still does to this day.
The first things that stood out to me about him is how his love for God superseded everything else in his life. He wasn’t ashamed to lift his hands in worship and bow his knees in prayer in outward adoration of the Father. He didn’t mind crying out to God…His heart was so tender towards the Father. I immediately noticed that he was a man who wholeheartedly was striving to live the life that was pleasing to God
◊Helping tip: A man who doesn’t want to break God’s heart, won’t want to break yours.
Throughout the course of our 3 year friendship, before we wed, his fasting, prayer, and devotional life was still consistent. He didn’t waiver in his pursuit of God. I knew that I could follow and submit to a man like that.
2. He only wanted me
This may sound like a no brainer, but it’s not. I see women settling all of the time for a guy who likes her, but doesn’t want ONLY HER. Honey, don’t settle for being the SIDE chick OR the MAIN one, be the ONLY one.
◊Helping tip: Don’t make someone a priority, when you’re only an option.
There was a season where we were considering dating that my husband was torn in between me and another young lady, and he told me. I cried, got upset, and then I realized my worth…So what did I do? I changed my number, deleted all text threads, pictures, and blocked him on social media. Why? Because I was serious about my heart AND about my worth.
◊Helping Tip: Just because a guy doesn’t see your worth does not diminish your value
He called me back and got that special message when your number is changed. I was THAT serious. My heart was serious-My time was serious-My intent was serious.
AND I WASN’T DOING IT TO GET HIS ATTENTION OR GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM. He made his decision so I simply made mine.
◊Helping Tip: Never give a man an ultimatum. Simply decide what you will and will not allow.
We reconnected a few months later and this time he knew I was the one for him. No gimmicks, no games, no questioning. We dated for 2.5 months, engaged for 1.5 months, and then married! March 2016 will make 4 years of marriage! No one was pregnant, we were not in a rush…we just decided to cut all the games out. After all, we had spent almost three years already becoming the best of friends and getting to know each other.
3.He was accountable.
When we started dating, after telling his father, he told other proven Godly men in our lives that we were serious about getting married. He put himself in a position to be accountable to these men concerning his life and his intentions towards me.
◊Helping Tip: Men know men. Give the men in your life access to the one you are dating.
It’s easy for women to overlook certain things when you’re “in love” but don’t take this for granted.I know this is getting good, but I will stop here. I will elaborate more on this point of accountability and the remainder of the points on part 2 of this blog so stay tuned. . . . . . . .